Friday, July 17, 2009

Mr Zucchini

( Brace yourselves this i s a long one)

I believe everyone has a certain share in life. So say your share in money is ten million dollars. you won't get a penny more. So to muse me, lets think of this scenario:

There are two friends. Who both get the same share of money in this lifetime:

Let's call the first friend Mr.Zucchini and the second Mr. Potato (And, no-- I'm not hungry I just think vegetables make good names)

So Mr. Zucchini gets his ten million share of money in the first twenty years of his life. ( He's young, he's green, he's long and slender and inexperienced. So he makes unwise choices and looses all his money by his twenty first birthday) He's now a very poor, very bitter old man who lives on charity.

Simultaneously his friend Mr. Potato gets all his ten million dollars throughout his life, with an especially big lump sum by the end of his years. Mr. Potato is Short round and the hard life has hardened him on the outside but from the inside (give him a little oil) he's a softie. (You get my metaphors. Right?) So now he's all bald but with a solid exterior to support him in his old age. ( He also has some nubs! get it?)

Well, I think of myself as Mr. Zucchini. Not in my money share though. The share I'm talking about is housework. Yes, it's true even that part you get a share in too. Anything really ( or at least that's what I believe in)

When I was little my mom asked me to get her a glass of water or something ( I can't really remember) so I made a face ( what a nice girl I was!) when my mom asked what was the matter, I told her that don't want to get the water. So she told me that if i didn't want to do something I shouldn't do it ( I swear she told me that, I'm not making it up!) So ever since you can imagine if I was asked to do anything I would naturally respond that I. did. not . want. to. ( hey, I'm not stupid, i can see an opportunity when it comes knocking)
*In my mother's defense, she majored in psychology, and I believe back then there was a school of thought that promoted not forcing anything on your kids and that they'll naturally come to the conclusion that it is of benefit for them, and do things on their own without being forced. ( that sure took me a WHILE!) see how ignorant I am in psychology( psychology majors please don't laugh at me, or actually you're allowed. You did work very hard to earn laughing at people like me. So go ahead give your self a long hard laugh. Good. Now lets proceed)

Fast forward I dunno, say twenty years (assuming I was five then) I got married to an American who sees pride in doing things on your own without seeking help ( meaning no maids, no cooks, no nothing.)
So on my first attempt at cooking a meal( And in my brain I didn't know of any short cuts 'cause of the way I was raised, we don't know what microwavable food means) I produced my first home made lunch at ten o'clock-- two hours before midnight!

The first time my mom came to visit me-- I made lunch for her ( this time only three hours late) and when I she spilled her juice and I went on my knees to clean it, my mom cried with actual tears, and yelled at me to get up, 'cause the maids can get that! -- what maids mom?

What I'm saying is -- I was spoiled rotten when I was a kid. I literally did not lift a finger. and today I made breakfast three times for three different groups of people( pancakes and eggs if you're wondering, with homemade bread. And butter and cheese) and lunches, and cleaned the kitchen and did the dishes-- oh about three or four times. While entertaining a parade of kids( they pretty much overdosed on Dora The Explorer, still counts in my dictionary!) and the babysitter did not show up today.

If I get a redo, I'd choose Mr. Potato anytime any day.

All that said-- It is one of the joys of my life to feed and serve people with a glowing highlight on family. Our house was booming with two sets of gorgeous twins and my darling girls. Along with their parents. We ate, we laughed, and they are all still recovering from jet lag.

I like to make people sympathize with me, when I am actually having a fantastic time. No worries. I am a very happy woman!



Taliba said...

I'm trying to pretend like I'm Mr Zucchini when I'm actually Mr Potato. How will that work out for me in the end? ;-)

Sarah said...

I wish Zucchinis could miraculously turn into potatoes overnight and vice versa. I think of myself as a potato.

I'm loving this post. I read it three times.

Stephanie said...

Funny post. I am also a potato. I think most good people are.

Robyn said...

I'm Nr. Potato. and funny that my kids were playing with Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head tonight.
Anyways, your breakfast sounds fantastic.

Kate said...

After I got over giggling about the veggie names, I could go back and re-read with such heart this post. One of the things I love most about your blog is your willingness to be so open and your self-awareness...and your humor. By the way-- that one sock photo-- oh my! ;)

Taliba said...

Salams. Please call me when you have a moment. I need your help with something.

Muslim Hippie said...

Is everyone here a potato, except for me?

Taliba- You're allowed to call you know *wink*. I'll give you a call tomorrow, inshaAllah.