I lost something today. It's just a material thing Alhamdulilah! I won't say what it is though, because it doesn't really matter, that's not the point(and please if you know what it is or guessed what it is from the post don't say). The point is it was my best thing I owned and now it's gone. It was a gift from two special people, it meant a lot to me because it came from them, and because it was a very thoughtful gift that made life pleasant in a material sort of way. I really loved it, and I was really afraid I would loose it, and I was being super careful and still I lost it. Which makes me feel like a complete idiot!
I don't want another one, I just want my old one. it was mine, it was personal, it even had my little girls photos in it, which also makes me really mad knowing some random stranger has my little babies photos. Why can't people do the right thing? why is it so difficult? I Know if that person took it then he probably is not in a very pleasant situation, and maybe he really needs to sell it and use the money for something far more important than what that thing meant to me. I really hope so.
But I can't help but feel upset and stupid for not being more careful.
Alhamdulilah, I have a beautiful home, family, health and a lot more to be thankful for.
But Today I am sad, even though I just received my permanent visa by mail, even though my wonderful husband came home early from school today just to cheer me up, even though he got us pizza and " My neighbor Totoro" to watch. I am sad because I feel incompetent, and not to be trusted with nice things, so please don't get me anything nice anymore I don't deserve it.
Tomorrow I'll be better again inshaAllah. Again I am so blessed, it's just a material thing.